I thought I'd post some of the blogs I wrote for a website a couple of years ago. Unfortunately that website isn't around anymore and that makes me sad since I really used their resources. Anyways, here's a post I wrote about dating & MS!
As a single young lady in a new city, I find myself spending a lot of time meeting new people whether that’s out at the bar, my local bookstore or through my circle of friends. Often times, these new friends can lead to dates. Since my diagnosis I have been on quite a few dates and to this day I still don’t know whether or not to disclose my disease or even when I should tell someone. Dating is hard enough as it is so when you throw in a curve ball like Multiple Sclerosis, it can make it even more challenging. I’ve basically tried most scenarios from telling my date right away, to waiting and even not telling at all.
Disclosing on the first meeting can sometimes be a turn-off. Some people might find this is too much information for the first time you’re meeting them. They might be uninformed or have little knowledge of Multiple Sclerosis so they may think the worst. On the other hand, they might be accepting right away and recognize that this disease doesn’t change the fact that you both like the same TV shows or love to travel
To be honest, waiting is usually the route I take. I wait and see if this new relationship is going to go anywhere and if this person is important enough to me to let them know about my MS. If I feel that things aren’t going to turn into anything serious, then I won’t bother saying anything. But if there seems to be potential, then I usually muster up some courage and go along with my well-rehearsed speech explaining the disease that I was diagnosed with a few years ago. I don’t usually get into too much detail unless they start asking more questions.
I’ve had a few people just ask me what is wrong with me. I’m used to talking about my blogs, medication and symptoms with friends so when it comes up with people that don’t specifically know about these things, they often catch on and eventually ask what is up with me. Often I’m not prepared to give them the speech and I just say that “it doesn’t matter,” “it’s a long story” or “I’ll tell you some other time.” This almost always gets them to dig some more until I finally open up.
Then there are the few people that I don’ tell at all – even some that I’ve grown close with – but that I felt didn’t need to know about my MS. I liked where our relationship was at and didn’t think it was important enough to bring up.
None of these circumstances concluded the same way. Most people were completely accepting no matter when I told them; a few were confused or even deterred by the information. Unfortunately MS is a part of me and always will be. If someone can’t welcome me for who I am, they aren’t worth my time.
