pumpkin

(I guess I wrote this one back in September but never posted it...so here it is!)

I can't believe how quickly time has been passing.  Feels like yesterday I was my blog regularly when it's actually been a few months!! Sorry folks.

The leaves are changing colour, my heat has kicked on, the scarves and boots have been pulled out of storage and I'm craving pumpkin spice everything.  These are all signs of my favourite season - autumn.  The fall time usually meant summer break ending, school starting and seeing my friends on a regular basis.  The fall also brings my MS anniversary.  Three years ago I spent a chilly fall night on a hospital bed waiting to see the neurologist.

Looking back at my biggest MS symptoms, they all seemed to come around the same time of year.  Is the fall really that stressful of a time of year for me? Is it the climate? Allergies? All of the above?  I guess I'll never actually know.  Is anyone else finding a pattern to their disease??

This past week I've noticed my legs starting to feel funny.  I don't even know how to describe the feeling, maybe fuzzy with a touch of burning and throw in a bit of weakness and unsteadiness.  Fairly stressful if you ask me...


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Update since I last wrote this post:

So I finally called the MS clinic as my legs were not getting any better.  They insisted that I go to see my physician to rule out infection and to firstly rule out a urinary tract infection.  Now, normally you have symptoms associated with a uti so I was convinced this time it was a full relapse and the specialist didn't know what they were talking about.  But of course, they were right.  The walk-in clinic doctor seemed shocked that I didn't have any real symptoms but he put me on a round of antibiotics and the fuzzy feeling in my legs slowly disappeared.

Guess I'm relieved it wasn't an actual relapse and now I know to see my doctor before I start to panic...and I'll go sooner rather than later.

don't forget to remember me

There are days that I forget I even have MS.  It doesn't happen too often, and especially not on Tuesday, Thursday or Sunday since my phone reminds me it's shot night.  I don't forget when I'm at the gym running on the treadmill and my legs go numb or when I'm carrying something and I realize I can't feel my hands.  But the odd time I'm so in the moment that I completely forget all about my MS symptoms.  Oh how I love those days.

People that know about my disease tend to forget too - although, way more often.  I'm coming across this in my workplace at the moment.  I'm so close to emailing my coworkers and management "I HAVE MS. LEAVE ME ALONE OR LEND ME A HAND."  Most of my colleagues have known I have MS since my diagnosis and not too long ago I came out to the rest of the company.  But the novelty of my post they all read over 6 months ago has warn off.  I find that now if I ever ask for a bit of help, I get eye rolls.  Even my boss has managed to push me to my limit and has completely *stressed me out that I've had to see my physician for a prescription of something to calm me down.  (*Stress + MS = bad) 

I guess I am mostly to blame.  I'm the type of person that if you ask me to jump I ask you how high.  I'm that person that shows up early, works through lunch and stays later.  I offer to help, even when I don't have time to - I always make time to help.  People notice this and forget that I still get the worst stabbing pain behind my eye halfway through the day or that I've dropped the pen/paper clip/business card numerous times because my hands are numb or even that I've stumbled into the same wall at least four times before lunch.  These little symptoms can often impact my whole day and slow me down.

MS is an invisible disease and as much as I don't want to get treated differently, I do want people to sometimes back off.  Is it so bad I feel this way?  Are there days you just want to remind people??