happy anniversary!

Over the past two years I've been faithful.  I've never cheated, I've never lied, and the times that I've wanted to give up I worked through it! I've argued and cried and have been hurt a lot.  People say you shouldn't be in an abusive relationship, but all of the ups outweigh any of the downs.

I'm talking about my disease modifying therapy.  It's been 2 years, 312 needles, countless ibuprofen and 0 new lesions on my brain.  As much as I hate having to give myself an injection three times a week, knowing that my disease has slowed down makes it a little bit more reassuring.

Happy anniversary rebif!! It's been a blast! 

#yolo

The phrase 'you only live once' isn't a phrase I like to use often.  It's thrown around and it's a horrible excuse to justify doing stupid things.  But after today, I see a different definition in this overused phrase.

Today I met an older man who was talking about his "sick son" and telling me how he's in wheel chair and has limited mobility, explained how he can't walk and needs to be bathed and fed.  Eventually he told me that his son has Multiple Sclerosis.  When people say something like this, I think they expect you to feel bad for them and start apologizing.  Not me! Every person that sadly says they have MS or their family members do, I speak up and say "so do I!!" with a heartfelt smile on my face.  This threw the man off a bit but his attitude changed and in the friendliest way he told me "it's not that bad."  So we started talking some more, he let me know his son was diagnosed in his early 20s and he's now in his 40s.  

I know this disease affects everyone differently - no one knows when or how it will attack you next - something could happen tomorrow, next week, next year, next decade or not for a really really long time! But you will never know.

On my way home today, the song Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw came on the radio. 

I've always loved this song but today it sunk in a little deeper.  Lately I've been contemplating a lot of things before I do them.  Little things like shopping and cooking to bigger things like friends, work and travel.  I need to stop doing that and I need to live like I'm dying, make decisions based on the fact that there might be a day where I won't be able to do it.  

With that being said, you only live once.  Vegas 2014??

lovelovelove

I tend to go back and read some of my old posts and I often think “wow, that’s good - who wrote that?”. I think I get in a sort of zone when I start writing.  I almost always have a topic in mind, write an entire page and then go back and completely tare it apart and change it all. 

The last post I published ended up being removed.  I felt that I wrote it while I was in a bad mood.  I can almost describe that feeling as if when you go to the grocery store hungry and you buy everything in sight. I was feeling upset so I let it out on this blog.  I did repost it though so I can go back and read it again.  It can remind me of a place I want to stay away from.

I think tonight I just wanted to thank everyone for all of their support.  Each and every one of you that read my tweets or blogs, I am so appreciative!

xxo

confession

I have needle fatigue.

I'm coming up to my 2 year anniversary with my disease modifying therapy and it's getting harder and harder to do my injections.

Each shot only takes a total of 5-10 minutes of my time, and it only hurts for about 30 seconds...but each shot can also keep me up at night or make me feel like I was hit by a truck the next morning or sometimes both.  I get hot flashes during the night, muscle aches and even chills. I take a minimum of a tylenol the night of and an advil the morning after, my poor liver probably doesn't even know what to do with them anymore.

My anxiety has gone through the roof and I'm almost ready to recognize that I might even be borderline pessimistic. I have dry skin, my hair is thinning and I have beautiful red marks on my thighs, stomach and backside.

Over the past 2 years, I've stuck it out and haven't skipped a shot...not even one!!

These shots are getting to me and I'm ready to quit.

2014: the year of Nina.

That's right - this is my year - I can feel it.

In 2013 I turned 25 and moved to a brand new city. I've kept most of my great friends, drifted from a couple and made a few amazing new ones. I went on three memorable vacations to the Bahamas, Cuba and Miami. I spent most of the summer on patios - drinking somersby or sangrias and joking with friends. I had a quarter life crisis and also had my heart broken, both temporarily solved by plenty of retail therapy. I learned how to cook, entertain and host a party. Most importantly, my follow up MRI showed no new lesions stating no progression of my Multiple Sclerosis. 

So much has happened in the past year but I'm happy it's gone and ready to start an even better one.

I'm not one to actually make New Year's resolutions, mine are more like guidelines.  And they don't really start until after my birthday...

This past Sunday I turned 26 which means that Monday I was to start following these guidelines.  They're fairly basic and mostly common sense.

circa 1995

Let's review this list I've come up with:

• do what's best for me, not what's best for everyone else
• make coffee at work every day instead of buying it
• learn to say no.
• before buying shoes, clothes, purses, makeup, nail polish, or housewares, ask myself if I actually need it
• remind myself that I don't need new shoes, clothes, purses, makeup, nail polish and housewares...even if it's on sale...I don't need it.
• stay away from every guy that broke my heart in the past as they will just do it again and again and again
• eat healthier; completely cut out gluten and dairy
• get physical.
• volunteer, get more involved with the MS society
• be a better blogger

Bring it on, 2014!