falling apart

So I’m kinda sick, I’m not dying and I’m not contagious.  With MS there are symptoms and there are attacks/relapses.  Symptoms are the annoying things that come and go.  Attacks are things that last longer and usually mean the disease is progressing.   I have what’s called relapsing-remitting MS (RRMS) meaning that the attacks are followed by complete or partial recovery.

My eye going blurry was an attack called optic neuritis and my eyesight didn’t fully come until about 4 months later…sometimes I’ll still get a bit of blurriness when it’s really hot or I’m under a lot of stress – I’ll talk about that another time.

Looking at all of the different signs of ms, I remembered back to first year university.  I had a weird fuzzy feeling in my left leg – almost like when your leg falls asleep, except this feeling wouldn’t go away.  An x-ray showed that I had a mild spinal curve so the doctors just said it was a pinched nerve.  But the more I look back, it was probably my first MS attack.

A year after being diagnosed, my left hand went numb.  These things just happen overnight and for no reason.  I remember not having full control of my hand – things like typing, putting on earrings, doing up a bra, reaching in my pocket for my keys, were all impossible.  Like my leg and eye, the feeling in my hand eventually came back.

Now with MS there is no medication to make the attack go away.  The doctors might give you a round of steroids through an IV but there isn’t a guarantee that this will help.  It might make things go away a few months earlier, a few weeks or just a few days earlier rather than if you waited it out. 

I do take disease modifying therapy though.  I’ve been on a medication called Rebif for the past 7 months, it won’t cure the MS but it’s hopefully slowing the progression.  It’s a shot that I do myself 3 times a week.  It burns like a mofo but I guess I’d rather that instead of an MS attack…

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