MS, the not so friendly ghost

I should change my job title to "Professional Procrastinator". I leave on my work trip tomorrow and I should be packing but instead I am blogging. I also need to do my hair and paint my nails, plus it's injection night and I need to pack my drugs.  That can wait.

On the weekend I was talking to a nurse friend about me having MS.  She looked at me and gave me that "who cares" look and went ahead and told me that I'm fine.  She said she sees a lot of older people with MS, like in their 70s needing therapy and I have a long road to go.  Okay, that's fine, but I still have the disease today and it's still affecting me right now.

There are over 50 symptoms, and remember, they're different between every single MS person.  I've mentioned a few before: fatigue, depression, pain, numbness/tingling, vertigo, tremor, vision problems, cognitive problems...

Speaking of cognitive problems, it's taking me wayyyy too long to write this blog and I'm starting to forget what my point was.  Yup, there's a good symptom that I have that you don't specifically see.  Some people I'm with on a daily basis might have caught on to my brain farts and forgetfulness, but most of the time you don't realize that it really is a regular thing.

Fatigue. Ugh, the F word.  You know that feeling you get at 3pm on a work day and you just want to crash? Multiply that feeling by 5 times and imagine it as soon as you wake up, a few more times during the day and even at least twice in the evening.  I've caught myself putting my head down on the desk over lunch or laying on the floor in the evening just to attempt to catch some energy.  Throw in some hot weather and I'm donzo (this week in Florida will be interesting...)

A lot of doctors say the disease is painless.  Wrong.  I've come across the oddest types of pain and some of the most severe pain over the past few years.  The most common I have is the stabbing, headache-like pain behind my right eye.  Another is my ribs - especially when it's cold!  It almost feels like I have a belt around my waist with a scarf tied around it, really tight! And of course my hands hurt. They've been an extra pain in the ass this past week.

Then there's the shakes, balance problems, numbness, the odd speech, swallowing or vision problems and of course MS has to hit up the bathroom area.  I've peed twice since starting this blog.  I don't have to go again but don't you worry, in about 20 minutes - boom - I'll "gotta go".

I really am rambling and my MS ADD has kicked in and I can't blog much more.  So I guess the conclusion of today's rant is: no matter how healthy I look and act, I still have MS and still have some crappy days.  Sure, they're working on cures and I hopefully will not ever need a wheelchair or might not need to use a cane until I'm 60, but today was still tough, and tomorrow might be worse.  I've learned to take every day as it comes and try to complain as little as possible.

On a happy note - I go to Florida tomorrow!  I've even pitched in an extra $30 for an exit seat!  Comfort and less anxiety due to more leg space and early boarding.  Let's hope the exit door will not need to be used ;)